Have you ever said to yourself, "I feel like I'm in a rut". If so, you're not a lone. And I guarantee you quarantine and 2020 has more people feeling like that then ever. It really illuminated how much of us live our lives in the future, planning planning planning. Many industries are shut down which could be why you feel in a rut. Many cities are on lock down, and ultimately we don't have answers to when things will open at a bigger capacity for you to even be able to make plans.
Or maybe your rut has nothing to do with Covid, and you've just been doing the same thing for too long. You're at a point where you don't really see an end. Maybe you're at the top of your company and there's no going up. Maybe you hate your job and don't know how you can do it another day. Maybe you like your job ok but you forgot what it feels like to be excited about a goal. (No matter what your situation, this is key. Goals are imperative to our happiness).
"But what if I've TRIED! I want to set goals but I don't feel passionate about anything anymore." Maybe this is you! If it is, take heart. Know this is not forever, nor the end. In fact, get excited because it is your starting point. Congratulations! The first step in anything is what? Awareness and acknowledgement. You did it- you became aware that you haven't felt excited about any goals you've thought about making. Great, now we just keep following the next steps!
I do want to inform you that the next steps always involve journaling. Why? Because scientifically so much more happens in the brain when you write with pen to paper, and you will discover more answers. Even more than talking. Although talking to someone who can hold space for you (like me) is also a good option after you have journaled.
Ok buckle up and hop on the train with me now.
(This GIF should be how you feel rn)
Okay so if you've made it this far you're serious. Good thing I'm an expert at helping people get out of a rut. I do have something to tell you though. You are not stuck. It might feel like you are stuck. But breathe that in with me. You. Are. Not. Stuck. I demand you to take a huge slooooowww inhale now. ----------------- and then relax your eyebrows and shoulders as you exhale. Ok, you're not stuck. You're not a tree. A tree is kind of stuck where it is.
What's going on, is you have some thought patterns running preventing you from seeing another way- that's it! Isn't that relieving when I put it that way? I know I know, that's why I am a life coach. In other words, your thought about your situation is what makes you feel stuck- not the actual situation.
Thoughts
Feelings
Action/Behavior
Result
Example
Thought: I am stuck, I am in a rut, I see no end in sight.
Feeling: Depressed, frustrated, bored, discouraged, helpless.
Action/Behavior: Does nothing, but repeats behavior you are feeling stuck in Result: Continues to do the exact same thing.
So how do you change the result? To have a different result, you'd have to have a different behavior, which means you'd have to have a different feeling, which means you'd by default have to have a different thought. You can control the thought. You can choose what thoughts you think.
So let me ask you, how are you thinking about your job? Or your body? Or your relationship?
What's your ideal result?
What behavior would lead to that result?
What feeling would you have to feel to act on that behavior?
What are you afraid of? Or what do. you tell yourself is the reason you are not taking action?
I think before we can move forward, you deserve to take an hour or so for yourself and ask yourself, if you were to change life directions completely- and nobody else's approval mattered...what would be a cool destination in 10 years? What does your ideal day look like? Who do you want to. be spending it with?
ARE YOU IN A RUT
What can I offer, what do I want to offer and to who?
Am I making progress doing what I'm doing?
Am I happy and fulfilled?
What kind of change am I craving?
Are there emotions I have been avoiding that need to be attended?
Am I truly filled with joy. or am I just kind of happy?
What am I afraid will happen if I _________________? Is that ultimately true?
Whatever you are afraid of, ask yourself if it's ultimately true. Then friend, I need. you to brainstorm possibilities. Be willing to see your situation differently. Remember you are not stuck, your thought is stuck. Choose a new thought. What new. thought could you think that would feel just a little more hopeful and exciting?
Don't give up.
Annie
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