Do you ever feel at the end of the night- frustrated, down, and discouraged? Are you beating yourself up because you didn't do what you said you would? And then you get even more mad that you can't seem to keep a promise to yourself?
There is so much depth here. But I want to keep it as simple as I can. Do you notice feeling similar emotional states at the same times throughout the day? Sometimes I observe that my emotions are more on autopilot. We have a thought which makes us feel an emotion which makes us take certain action. It is important to trace back to the thought!
But for now, at the end of the night when you feel you messed up yet again, I want you to find hope in tomorrow. This can be the last day you participate in the sabotaging behavior. You can let it go now. It might suck. But you can warn yourself that the next day you are still going to feel like throwing in the towel and not sticking through with your promise, and that it isn't going to be fun. And that you aren't going to WANT to say yes or say no (whatever it is you are trying to change)
Sometimes you just have to suck it up and let it suck.
Harsh? Does this sound harsh to you? Well here is the thing. If I decide there is a job I want more than anything that requires me to have a certain skill that I do not currently have, I make the decision: Either I will do whatever it takes to become the best I can at the skill, or I won't. And starting out will never be fun, because who enjoys doing things they are bad at? Kids are better at trying. We can be more like kids! Who said you weren't allowed to suck?! "I can't play tennis, I am bad at it." Well wise one why don't you say yes to the next ten tennis invitations and then you won't be so bad!
Do not use tomorrow as an excuse to not try today, but when you didn't meet your expectations, please forgive yourself. You have so much going on. You can be stronger tomorrow.
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